Bitchin' Sally

I have periodically been fortunate enough to find people with whom I can relate.  Not many, and they usually die or move FAR, FAR away, but occasionally they stick around.  Unfortunately, the assholes and dickheads outnumber the winners concerning this matter.  Based on this information, I have compiled a list of exciting things that you can expect from me if you decide to be my friend, as well as my expectations of you.

What to expect from me:

1.  I’m fucking INTENSE.

2. I require communication and feedback.

3. I tend to make impulsive decisions.

4. I am a control freak.

5. I can be easily misunderstood.

6. I tweak out a lot.

7. I’m fucking INTENSE.

My expectations of YOU:

1. Don’t fucking ignore me.

2. Don’t be a douche.

3. Communicate.  WELL.

4. Don’t fuck with me.

5. Be HONEST. 

6. Don’t fuck with me.

The above rules are compiled based on friendship only.  In addition, if you have taken my intensity as an intimate advance, get bent. 

The Little Prince by Antoine de St. Exupery

In every chapter of my life I have had songs and music that speak to me.  This is my new anthem for this chapter.  I love this song.  For me, it is about looking at things differently and finding beauty and inspiration in simple things.  The meaning behind each thing we encounter on our journey is intensely personal for each individual.  When we find something we don’t understand, we (as humans) try to find its significance.  Upon further inspection, we may find that what was once seemingly insignificant has manifested itself into something much greater and meaningful to our very existence.  The lines “it’s just a box of rain, I don’t know who put it there…believe if you need it, or leave it if you dare..” resonate within my soul for so many reasons!  It matters not what you may be considering, a box of rain, a painting, a book; how you interpret it and what it means to us as individuals is what makes the difference.  Simple things can have a profound impact  on our day to day happiness, especially if we grow to love these things and use them to help us through the tough times.  

When I come across a blog, article, announcement, or other type of media suggesting that I “coupon”, it makes me want to kick whoever made the statement right square in the cunt.  Cut out the fucking coupon, go to the store, use it, and shut the fuck up.  Easy as that.  

Not only are people blogging about “couponing”, there are also classes available to teach you how to coupon.  Why would anyone want to go pay MONEY, to learn how to use a fucking pair of scissors and eventually save money?  I am not sure I understand this concept, but the irony makes me giddy.

Using coupons, in general, is a wise and thrifty practice.  I use them from time to time, although they are hard to find these days due to coupon scavengers who lift them out of magazines, newspapers, and other media before anyone else has a chance to even know that they ever existed.  But PLEASE remember to coupon responsibly.  By “responsibly”, I mean that you should not be that asshole at WalMart who makes me wait in line for 45 minutes because you have a stack of valid, redeemable coupons bigger than a large sandwich, which the clerk, who is 78, blind and unfamiliar with “barcodes” takes another 3 hours to scan.  I will kick you in the cunt if that happens, even if you never invited me to coupon.

Morning Mayhem

I have been doing a lot of reflection in recent weeks, and it seems as though I have come up with an assortment of “lists”.  Some of them have titles, some are organized, and some are just fucked up bits of nonsense that I have categorized in an “etc.” sort of compartment in my head meats.  Here is one of my lists:

“why not?” (use them at your own discretion)

1.  You’re a fucking asshole.

2. I’m a fucking asshole.

3.  Because my lips are swollen and tender from that last bit with the tiller.

4. I’ve already produced far too much bile.

5. My ass is not a reciprocal.

6. Your teeth smell like kimchi. 

7. You smell like kimchi.

8. Can’t you see I have a cock in my ear already?

9.  I have to poop.

10.  Because you have stupid arms and I hate you in the FACE.

Anonymous asked: remaining anonymous wasn't my choice. my brain is too jammed to figure it logging into this new social network. that and all of the mystical woodland creatures that live behind MY eyes are soaking up all my brain power by pleasuring themselves to the image of the bliss that is Max Jandreau's mom's vagina.

The vag is a magnificent thing…it entices even the most focused mind.  Although this vag that you speak of…I have fallen into its splendor a time or two…

Anonymous asked: haha, you have a very interesting mind. don't let them make you normal, Sally! they tried it with me too!

Thanks, anonymous, I appreciate that you have remained anonymous because otherwise I would have to put you down for my “Thursday” appointment.